Terror Threat: What/What Not To Do

For those reading today: hope you’re all ok and safe and enjoying day time television. To help keep morale up, heres some few pro tips on what to do and what NOT to do.

  • DON’T wear a dark hoodie. That would be awkward and weird
  • DON’T join any clubs where they require masks today (idk if we even have a club but you never know)
  • Do watch every TV show available. Day time television is the bomb. Recommendations include Cops, The Price Is Right, The View, Sportscaster. Nothing takes your mind off this like a bunch of freaks getting arrested in Lowell.
  • Do buy food and eat yourself into a food coma. Its a known fact that calories and carbs don’t count during terror threats so eat up boys and girls
  • Do beers *if you are 21. Take the edge off.

animal housewine can

  • DON’T get VEMed *cue one of my friends being an idiot
  • DON’T go outside around two o’clock. At the end of the day, does a boring 50 minute business class really matter that much?
  • DON’T even try and work out. The gym sucks on a good day so why would you even try today?
  • Do relax. Please. (I’m talking to you @girl who lives above me that was yelling all night)
  • DON’T YikYak random rumors. Congrats random freshman guy in Good Counsel, you got thirty anonymous likes. (P.S. didn’t know people still used yikyak until last night)
  • Do try and laugh a little bit. It doesn’t hurt
  • DON’T be stupid (see we can be serious sometimes)

Keep your alarm up people. If you see something, say something. We can’t live our lives in fear. Stay strong nationers. Stay thirsty my friends and God bless our country and forces.

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